Letting Go…

I have a terrible habit of being a bit of a people pleaser.

In the past I would do anything I could to make people like me… I would fit whatever mould they needed me to, change my beliefs to fit theirs, essentially pretended to be someone I wasn’t… it was not good at all.  If someone found me annoying or didn’t want to be friends with me it really got to me and I managed to convince myself that I was the problem.

However, after 19 (long) years and 7 different stints as “the new girl”, I’ve finally come to realise that in life, not everybody is going to like you.  The truth is, I’d be lying if I said I liked everybody I’ve ever met, everyone would; at the end of the day we all have different personalities, and it’s only natural that some personalities are going to clash.  As long as you have at least some people in your life that you know genuinely like you for you, it doesn’t matter.  Not everybody that you meet is meant to be a lifelong friend, and sometimes you have to filter through the coal to find the diamonds.

You see, I’ve had my fair share of friendships that I’ve forced that were probably not the most healthy to be in (read more about one of those here) and every time I was heartbroken when they ended (yes, friendships can break your heart too).  However, looking back on each of them, and seeing those people hanging out now, I realise that if I were still with those people, I wouldn’t be having fun.  I should be with people that make me feel comfortable… and it took me a long time to realise it, but you can’t force people to like you, and you can’t force yourself to like other people.

If you find yourself changing everything about you in order to fit in, or having to force your way into every group hang, then maybe it’s time to let go.  People that genuinely want you around will make an effort to invite you to things and will accept you, flaws and all, and sometimes the only way to find the good is to let go of the bad, no matter how hard that may be.  In your lifetime you will come across so many different faces that it will be impossible to keep count, the same way it would be impossible for you to get along with every single one of them on a genuine level.  Pick quality over quantity, and if people don’t like you, let them go.

How do you overcome people not liking you?  Leave your own stories/opinions in the comments!

Lots of love,

Jas xx

 

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21 thoughts on “Letting Go…”

  3. Natasha says:
    Reply

    I definitely struggle with people pleasing too Jasmine, but you’re so right, quality is always better than quantity and if people are treating you poorly or you’re having to change who you are to fit in with them, then they’re aren’t good friends. Like you, this is something I’ve learned over the years and I feel lucky to have a close knit group of friends who stay in touch with me and love me for me, and I’m glad you have that too! – Tasha

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Kel says:
    Reply

    Ah, its tough, isn’t it?
    I’ve struggled with friends over the years – heartbroken when thins have gone awry and desperate for people to like me…. I think getting older makes it easier to handle but it still sucks sometimes!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Em Linthorpe says:
    Reply

    Hi Jas. You are so correct. I am like you, I always have been and always will be. I’m generally easy going and always fitted into customer facing roles because I love people and the general public (and can generally get the best out of people even if they are being obnoxious 😉) BUT you are very correct. Sometimes personalities clash, and sometimes people are just plain awful and you shouldn’t allow them any more of your time and space x

    Liked by 1 person

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