Living away from home for half the year means that, like most Uni students, my life is split between two places. I have different friends, a different house, different people that I live with, different favourite places and – what I found to be surprisingly important – different clothes.
When choosing what clothes to pack for University I thought I was being critical and narrowed down my wardrobe to things I would actually wear. It worked to an extent… I still have too many clothes but at least most of the items are worn regularly, but now I find myself coming back home for the holidays convinced that the clothes I left behind are unwearable. Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t exactly changed in size in the last year, and they definitely still fit me, but none of them feel like “me” anymore, and it’s a really weird feeling. I was reflecting on this the last time I went home, and I wanted to be able to vocalise my feelings about it better, so I thought I’d confront them straight on, and try on some of the left behind pieces that I used to wear all of the time…
Re-wearing some of my old favourites provoked more of a reaction inside of me than I thought it would; it was like each item brought with it memories of sixth form and who I used to be and what I used to think and it was actually a little bit emotional. I was obsessed with ill-fitting, baggy jumpers because I was so insecure about my body. Looking back on it yeah my stomach wasn’t flat – it never has been flat – but my figure was still pretty good and I didn’t need to be as nervous as I was. One of my biggest goals in sixth form was to be able to float around relatively unnoticed as I hated attention and being the subject of gossip, and the baggy tops helped me achieve this. For me, the baggier the top, the more I could hide away from the world, and so that’s what I did.
This also led to the phase of baggy hoodies and leggings. You see, after having no body confidence at all, I got to a point where I thought that acting like I wasn’t trying at all would be better than looking like I was trying and failing to look stylish. I only bought (or in some cases, stole from friends) male hoodies, and I constantly paired them with leggings and T-shirts in the hopes that I would look “effortlessly cool”… FYI, I have never been a person that can pull off effortlessly cool. I actually still do this some time when I’m travelling to and from Uni and home, or when I really can’t be bothered, but now it’s for comfort purposes and not because I want to make an effort to not make an effort. Honestly, I don’t think I’ll ever grow out of the leggings and hoodie stage – they are ridiculously comfortable together! However now I have pure, non premeditated intentions when I don this classic combination.
I remember buying my first skater skirt when they first started coming in trend and being amazed with how it flattered me. I won’t lie, I have a pretty good shaped butt, and yeah my figure goes in at the waist, but up until that point I’d never paid any attention to the good parts of my body because I was so busy focusing on the bad. Suddenly, I put on this skater skirt and I thought “Wow… I actually look okay” and so I started to wear them everywhere. This one in particular was actually bought around 2 years after my skater skirt phase when I was buying skirts for sixth form and I saw it in the sale so added it to my basket, but after trying it on it was like I went back to being 14 again. Even now, at the age of 20, I won’t lie I felt super cute putting this back on again. I think skater skirts were one of the first items of clothing I actually felt attractive in.
However, just because I started to realise what “flattering clothing” was, don’t think that I turned into a style-guru over night (I’m still nowhere near that stage). I used to be terrible with colour co-ordination. When looking through my old clothes, I vividly remembered pairing this skirt and jumper together all the time… The burgundy of the jumper would bring out the burgundy in the skirt, right? Wrong. I tried them on together the other day, and though they don’t clash as offensively in the picture, they definitely clashed in real life. They aren’t the same shade of burgundy, they don’t even look particularly flattering together. They shouldn’t have gone together and they never will again. The one redeeming quality of this outfit? The boots. I’ve always had an obsession with boots – still do, and I loved these boots with a passion.
Looking back on my old outfits it’s weird to see how much my style has evolved in the last 3 years. I’ve really come into myself; I’m a lot more confident and I am in no way as insecure as I used to be. I dress for my body and I dress in things that I love and clothes that make me feel good, and though I’ve never really thought much of it, seeing how I used to dress really made me proud of how far I’ve come… Not just stylistically, but emotionally. I’m not sure whether any of these will be re-worn by me again; I’ll probably pass them off to my sister or sell them on Depop. However, it was a nice blast from the past and reminder of how quickly tastes and appearances can change.
Hope you guys liked this! It was very different for me but I want to start getting into some fashion posts (Not all the time, just alongside my other content). Please tell me what you think, I would be grateful for as much feedback as possible because this is very new for me!
Lots of love,