We’ve probably all heard this at some point… Whether we’ve been the one saying it or the one receiving it, “You’ve changed” seems to be considered one of the deadliest insults around and I could not be more annoyed with the stigma.
We’re human beings, we grow and we evolve and if we didn’t change from time to time it would be a bit weird. I can easily look back and say that I’m not the same person I was 5 years ago, and I don’t want to be. Yes, at 14 I had completely different friends and we did grow apart because of “change”, but changing isn’t synonymous with a bad thing. I wouldn’t want to still be the 14 year old who was shy and timid and afraid to stand up for what she believed in, in fear of being judged. Yes, the me that became more confident and social drove my “friends” of the time away, but at the end of the day it was for the best.
You see, we all change, and sometimes that could mean that our personalities change or we don’t suit certain people in our lives anymore but this doesn’t have to be seen so negatively. I like to believe that everything happens for a reason (I’ve done a few posts on it actually, here and here) and, though it may sometimes be hard to hear, yes, whilst changing you may grow apart from certain people in your life. But that end isn’t a bad thing, you may have worked while you were different, but ultimately, if someone doesn’t like/suit the person you’ve become, it’s for the best that you aren’t together anymore.
I change all the time. I’m still young (and I will hold onto my youth as long as I can), I’m growing everyday and learning who I am and if that means that I’ve “changed” then so be it. We grow and we mature and we become the people that we meant to be. For some that’s a drastic difference and for some that may not be too different at all, but we need to stop shaming people for becoming who they’re meant to be, because honestly we do enough of that to ourselves.
We’ve all seen people change, and it can be heartbreaking sometimes to think you’ll lose a friendship/relationship, but whether we deem the change to be for better or for worse, it’s their own personal journey and we can keep our opinions to ourselves. It’s okay to grow apart from people, it’s okay to realise that you’re not meant to be as close as you used to… We all find our people and sometimes personalities clash, it’s just how the cookie crumbles. So yes, you may have “changed”, but changing is a part of life, people just need to deal with it.
Hope you enjoyed my little rant, it’s been on my mind for a while now and I finally figured out how to put it into words. Feel free to share your opinions below!
Lots of love,