Late Night Ramblings Pt. 2 | Trust…

I’ve moved schools 6 times (counting University), have never felt like I’ve “belonged” in a friendship group (until sixth form) and have been to the moon and back mentally so it’s safe to say I have a few issues when it comes to trusting people.

It’s not that I don’t trust people in general (okay, I guess broadly that’s kind of true), it’s just that I used to be quite naive and thought that everyone had good intentions at heart and so a few bad seeds have ruined me for the majority.  I have a real issue with being vulnerable… It’s not a problem when I really trust a person but it takes me an awfully long time to be able to open up when it comes to people.

In some ways I’m a bit of a walking contradiction…  I’d probably class myself as an over-sharer with trust issues.  The second I feel remotely comfortable with you I’ll probably tell you more about my life then you ever wanted to know, but to me that’s different to trust.  Telling you trivial stories about my life isn’t the same as believing I can depend on you and that you won’t hurt me.  I’m an open book on the surface but it’s very rare that someone is allowed to get further than those initial opening pages.

Trust is such a massive thing to me.  It’s not as trivial as who will keep my secrets, it’s more of a case of who will be come into my life and treat me with enough respect and care not to hurt me, and to just be around.  I can be pretty stand-offish when it comes to the private stuff but once I trust someone that’s it, it goes from 0 to 100 real quick.  It can be great sometimes because it allows me to let my guard down with the right people, but sometimes it backfires, and I end up hurt… you never know which way it’s gonna go, sometimes you have to just take that leap of faith.

I used to believe that if someone broke my trust, that was it, I’d never trust again.  However, I’m older and (slightly) wiser now and I refuse to let a few bad seeds stop me from trusting a good bunch.  It takes me longer, and I become more wary, but I get there eventually.

I have some real amazing friends, and I wouldn’t give them up for the world.  I feel like I can tell them anything, free of judgement and I never take that for granted.  They understand that trust is a two way street and honestly words couldn’t express my love and appreciation of them.  If you have people like that in your life make sure you treat them right, because those people are diamonds.

This is so rambly and I don’t know if this makes any sense at all, but hey this is what happens with late night rambling…  What are your thoughts on trust?  Share your opinions in the comments…

Lots of love,

Jas xx

 

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26 thoughts on “Late Night Ramblings Pt. 2 | Trust…

  1. Ocean Bream says:

    Sounds like you’re a pretty outgoing person, really! But it’s good to keep your distance with people you aren’t too sure about. And I suppose naivety in youth teaches one a hard lesson about real life! I have never been betrayed by people because I have never trusted them enough to have that power over me, I don’t know if that is a good thing or a bad thing? I find it dreadfully hard to trust people, to be honest. I have moved schools and countries my whole life and it’s been hard for me to make real friends. I don’t trust anybody with my issues beyond my immediate family/spouse. But I do have a big mouth so if I do trust someone, you betcha they know all the ins and outs of everything.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Katherine says:

    This post resonates with me so much. I moved schools as a child as I was physically bullied, and those girls have always put me in a position of anxiety around people, so as soon as I get a bad vibe, I’m like byeπŸ‘‹πŸΌ Even in uni, I’ve met some people who make me question others, but I’ve also met so many amazing people, especially through blogging and I’m glad I let them inπŸ’•

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Natasha says:

    I can definitely relate to this Jasmine and it sounds like you’ve got a good head on your shoulders, with a positive and reasonable outlook on life, even if you’ve had bad experiences in the past. I definitely think it’s important not to let those people ruin future friendships and relationships too, and while I have a tendency to be naive and too trusting, I hope I’m getting better as I’m in my mid-twenties now and I hope I’ve learnt to be trusting, but also a tiny bit wary and sensible, but it’s harder said than done for me, so it was good for me to read this post! Always enjoy these ones where you share your thoughts. – Tasha

    Liked by 1 person

  4. ellenbest24 says:

    I too went to so many schools not long enough for forever friends not short enough to not feel the pain of leaving, then you stop making connections they are things you have with people who are always with you or within arms reach. So my sisters were always my only friends until I was about 50 when that bag of rubbish got to heavy and I learned to leave it where I stood. Those feelings the rubbish times, the hurt, the pain, all gone. You always have to take a deep breath like the one just before you go under the water before you can truly let go, but each time is easier each step i get further away. #socialSaturday pleased to meet you.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Ritu says:

    Sometimes its so cathartic to ramble. Jasmine, ramble away! We are all here to support and listen!
    Trust can be broken, but you can build it back up again. It’s a tough road but it is travelable!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Deb's World says:

    I can relate to this Jasmine! It makes sense to me and in some ways I’m similar. I tend to share the small stuff and might be taken as an open book but in reality I’m quite different. I enjoyed reading your ramblings!!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Gabe Burkhardt says:

    I know what you mean about that frustrating paradox. I’m normally very guarded, but I often find myself oversharing “stories” about myself. I suspect this is a means of deflecting. Either that or we’re just really weird πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Lisa Orchard (@lisaorchard1) says:

    I understand your trust issues. I’m very reserved when I first meet someone. I want to get to know them before I share too much personal stuff. Nobody likes to be hurt. So don’t be too hard on yourself about trust issues, it’s okay to take care of yourself and sometimes holding back until you know someone, is taking care of yourself. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  9. yesthismoment says:

    People come in and out of our lives all the time. The ones that are meant to, stay. Sometimes they stay even when we would prefer they didn’t!! Those are the ones who have the biggest lessons to teach us. As uncomfortable as it feels as times, learning to trust yourself is so much more important in the long run. Trust your instinct. πŸ™‚ (and rambling is a good thing!)

    Liked by 1 person

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