Project 2017 | Things Happen…

This last month has been a whirlwind of feelings emotions and acts and, as I’ve mentioned before, they haven’t been so positive.  The amount of times I’ve flashed between sadness and anger and apathy these past couple weeks has been ridiculously intense and I kept telling myself that things take time but it’s hard to know how much time things will actually take.  However, today (well, yesterday by the time you’re reading this), by some miracle I made it through and finally just… got over it.

It wasn’t in an angry way, and it wasn’t in an apathetic way (my usual method of dealing with things), I just finally got to terms with the fact that everything happens for a reason.  You see, recently, I’ve felt so out of control… I was doing the right things and trying as hard as I could but things were falling apart because of something that was out of my hands, and the control freak in me just couldn’t handle it.  However, today it finally clicked in my head; you can blame every circumstance that you want, but at the end of the day that won’t change what’s happened.  I like to believe that everything that happens, happens for a reason, and if things are meant to be, who knows, they’ll work out eventually.

For example, when I was 14 I was sat in my living room one day and my mum came in and told me that I wouldn’t be going back to the school I was at because we could no longer afford it.  I didn’t know how to feel… I was sad but I couldn’t cry, I didn’t really react at all.  I spent the next 4/5 months at home, waiting for another school and feeling completely emotionless.  At this point I felt like everything I’d worked for was a waste; I was a brainy kid who was now months behind and could see any chance of a “good education” floating away from her.

I didn’t want to be the new girl.  I didn’t want to start all over again.  And I was at a point where it really felt like the end for me.  But if that hadn’t happened I wouldn’t have met the amazing people I know now, I probably wouldn’t be half as grounded as I am today and I probably wouldn’t have ended up at the University I’m at.  (Despite the last few weeks of madness) I’m incredibly happy with where my life is at, and it never would have been like this if I hadn’t left that school 6 years ago (wow I’m old…).

You see, there’s only so long you can let your emotions fester and blame yourself/others/the world.  Eventually, you have to take your losses and your sadness and let it make you stronger.  Who knows?  The things that seem like the end of the world now could be the things that you look back on in 5/10 years and think “Look how far I’ve come”.   If things are really supposed to sort themselves out then they will eventually, all you need is patience and acceptance within yourself.  I personally am finally there with the current events in my life, and I hope that you can all use this whenever you feel like everything is falling apart.

Hope you’re all doing great!  And if you’re not feel free to hit me up on Twitter or Instagram or in the comments, I’m happy to be an ear that’s listening…

Lots of love,

Jas xx

 

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39 thoughts on “Project 2017 | Things Happen…

  1. GirlMasked says:

    So glad to hear that things are working out for you ☺
    This is a really good post, I’m so glad I came across it, it was good to have a reminder that we cannot control every situation in our lives. I really like this post! 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Deb's World says:

    It’s sometimes hard to understand why things happen but it seems like you are back on track and accepting that things do happen for a reason. How we respond to them can make or break us. All the best!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Jennifer says:

    You learned a great lesson. We cannot run away from or stuff our emotions down, we need to really feel them….even if it causes discomfort. Really feeling them helps us to move past them. Stuffing them away just means they are going to explode out at some inappropriate time in the future.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Gary says:

    Wow Jas; such a thought provoking post and really takes me into a mindfulness course I did last year that really tackled overthinking and dwelling on events that have happened. Not everything in life can be controlled; many things can, but unexpected things do crop up and if we dwell on those it gives the impression its always happening. Bit like the news on TV. All they do is leap onto negative stories and they leave the positive bits out so the perception is the world is a nasty place. Obviously blogging demonstrates that’s not true and people here want to get on and be nice, support and help out.

    Dealing with emotions can be a tough one though; sometimes you need to let them run a course of time and emerge stronger with more understanding after the event. Take it as a lesson to be learned and not to repeat the same actions. Caveat, there is a fine line between doing that and leaving it too long. Enter the avoidance strategy, recycling the negative thoughts and heading to low mood or maybe worse. Take heed that part; once in that zone it is far harder to escape and can sit for along time. They call that low level default mind. It ejects higher brain decision making and sits fighting to keep in the “comfort zone” which is an oxymoron if ever I heard one!

    Patience and acceptance is the key and to be not afraid of new challenges. Many people resist change and that stymies excitement and challenge. As you said about school; if you had not changed then you’d never have met new people. Very tough at that age mind. Keep strong and if you get low find an ear to bend πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • thoughtsfromjasmine says:

      This comment was so amazing and wise Gary, thank you so much! It’s taken me so long to come to terms with things recently and at times I haven’t handled it the best, but I’m stronger now and I’m so thankful for that.
      Jas xx

      Liked by 1 person

      • Gary says:

        It’s based on my own journey, the people I’ve met during it and, because I write psychological thrillers, from thinking deeply about how psyche works. It’s so easy to enter low mood zones and terribly hard to alter thinking to escape again. The biochemical processes involved are not too dissimilar to those changing a habit into an addiction. It’s why your mind has to keep pausing and saying “No” to overthinking and catastrophising. Stay in the present moment until things reset. It’s not an easy journey and we always find or see things that support the collapse phase rather than the positives. Just knowing that can help too. You do sound stonger, but do keep asking if you really are or are pretending you are (don’t mean that as a negative btw) but often the part that doesn’t want things to change has a habit of pretence to validate itself. I reckon you can and will beat it 😊 xx

        Liked by 1 person

      • Gary says:

        I hope you can rationalise your way out Jas. Often we want to, but end up doing the same things rather than forcing a stop and deciding not today. Default mind has a tendency to bypass executive brain function. Farcing back into the moment requires that part of the brain to flex its muscles and empower choices again. Ever need to get thoughts out or rant just shout. Understanding why you feel things is a very positive thing too xx

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Meet Courtney says:

    It’s awesome that you’ve finally reached that point! It can take a lot to get to there. It certainly took a lot out of me to reach the point of acceptance with changes and I think to a certain extent, I still struggle with it today. In no way is it as severe as it used to be though, where I was kind of clinging to things hoping that things would always work out the way I wanted.
    This was such an inspiring piece! Thank you for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Natasha says:

    I hope that things are easing now lovely and that there are good things on the horizon for you. It’s never easy when we face challenges like these that come along unexpectedly but I love your reserve and attitude towards them, and I am sure that with time things will come good for you, whatever it is you’re facing. ❀ – Tasha

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Shaienna Monique says:

    Truly inspiring. We want to control every aspect of our lives and unfortunately, the world just don’t always work the way we want it to. Glad that you were able to pull yourself out of the anger.

    Like

  8. nickyashleigh says:

    Jasmine!! This is such a great post and I’m right there with you with the “things happen for a reason” logic. It’s so difficult to just let go and trust that you’re going to land where you’re meant to be but it’s the most necessary and freeing action. I’m glad you’re in a better mindset now and I hope things continue to improve and become even better than you imagined! xx

    Liked by 1 person

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