I feel like now that I’m in Uni I can really feel myself moving towards adulthood, and in short… it terrifies me.
You see, the older I get the more I realise how quickly time seems to be passing; I feel like 2017 just started and yet here we are, mid April, 4 months into the year. I’m studying and socialising but sometimes I feel like I get stuck in ruts where I just move, lifelessly from day to day and let my life move on without fully basking in the moment. You see, whenever people used to tell me “You’re only young once” I just kind of brushed it off, but here I am, almost in my twenties, a mere few years away from having to dive into the world of work… a world I’ll then be in til retirement.
I have 3, possibly 2 summer holidays left in my lifetime… Limited years left before people stop excusing my mistakes because “I couldn’t know any better”, and, (although I know my parents will always be there for me), only a few years before relying on them is no longer socially acceptable. I hear about people my age moving in with their partners or already being in the world of work and at first I’m like “What? They’re too young!”, but in reality they really aren’t… we’re adults now. It’s just so weird thinking that the people I used to consider fully grown adults were the age that I am now… still a big child.
My biggest fear has always been death, but at the moment time is becoming a real contender. I’m so scared of squandering these few years of childhood that I have left. At the moment I crave adventure: I want to travel the world, have new experiences that excite me, do crazy, silly, spontaneous things with no regret, before I have a career and (even more) bills tying me down.
One of the quotes that’s really been resonating with me recently is:
“In life, you regret the things you didn’t do, rather than the things that you did.”
And honestly, I really believe that. I’m so desperate to take chances and make memories and live as many days to the full as I can. If I have a dream, I want to see if I can achieve it, instead of looking back on it one day with regret.
Hey, nothing like the impending feeling of death and ageing to motivate you…
Hope you enjoyed this small quarter life crisis haha, just something that’s been floating around my mind recently. Have you ever felt like this/have your own opinions on time? Would love to hear them in the comments!
Lots of love,