Insecurity.

Why is it so easy to spot our own flaws?  I mean, I’ve always had things I didn’t like about my body… I haven’t liked my stomach since I was 6, and I never liked the ways my thighs jiggled, but over time things that I never thought would bug me… things that aren’t even that wrong with me have become more of an issue.

I think I mentioned in my post on The Colour Problem with Makeup that I got into wearing makeup really late.  I mean, you weren’t allowed it at secondary school, and my skin’s always been pretty clear so I saw no need in purchasing foundations and concealers, but by the time I got to sixth form that started to change.  Suddenly makeup was allowed and girls came in with porcelain skin, an absence of eye bags, perfectly drawn on eyebrows and long curly eyelashes.  The girls who were already pretty took their prettiness to a whole other level and I began to notice a whole lot more wrong with myself.  The non-spotty skin that I once prided myself on was no longer good enough, I noticed the slight discoloration in certain areas and the eye bags and the lack of perfection.  Yeah, my eyebrows were shaped, and yeah they’re naturally quite full but they weren’t as perfect as those who used product.  With time, everything became a bigger deal – my arms were to flabby and my nose was too flat and yeah my eyelashes are quite naturally curly but they didn’t stand out enough.

Yes, I could sit here and preach about how you should never compare yourself to other people, but the truth is it’s so easy to do,   and often we get lost in everybody else’s pro’s that we can only notice our cons.  I’ve gotten way better at self-confidence since January, and I know that I’m more than just my flaws, and people come in all shapes and sizes but sometimes that can be hard to remember when you’re surrounded by people you deem to be “better than you”.  I wrote in my Project 2017 Feb Update that I’ve spent quite a bit of February feeling quite insecure, and that it true, but I’ve also gotten a lot better at handling how I deal with these insecurities.

I’m never gonna be perfect.  None of us are ever gonna be perfect.  But one day, I’m gonna look back at the body and face and hair that I have now and wish that I looked like that again, the same way I look at pictures of 15 year old me, at the peak of her insecurity and realise that she wasn’t half as fat as she thought that she was.  The truth of the matter is, as much as we might look at other people and wish we had what they had, we all only get one body, and it would be a shame to spend our whole lives hating it.  

No, confidence doesn’t come overnight.  I mean, I’ve spent 2 months working on my confidence and I still have a loooooong way to go, but everybody’s gotta start somewhere right?  My motto for most things in life is if you don’t like it, change it… But when it comes to me (and a lot of other people) that’s not the best motto when it comes to things to do with wait and body insecurity.  So, I recommend you focus on changing the external things: be more adventurous with makeup, cut or dye your hair, change your eyebrow style, buy some new clothes or underwear that you feel good in… It all makes more of a difference than you’d think.

The most important thing to remember with insecurities (something I’m still working on) is that your “flaws” aren’t the problem, your attitude to them is.  Yeah, my skin may not be 100% even, but at least it’s smooth, and no I’m not happy with the way my thighs jiggle but I have a pretty great butt… Everyone has something to be proud of, start noticing your own pro’s!

You’re all amazing, feel free to leave something you like about yourself in the comments, or your thoughts on insecurity,

Lots of love,

Jas xx

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